A heartbeat, a flicker line

Blogisphere, meet Bebe the Blueberry. Bebe the Blueberry, meet the blogisphere. Today was the most amazing day of my pregnancy thus far: I got to see my baby on the ultrasound screen. I can't even tell up from down or what is what, all I know is that tiny grayish smear inside the black sphere is my baby and it's the most beautiful grey smear I have ever seen ever. Isn't it? Shush, it is. You know it. Bebe is measuring exactly seven weeks, which means I was 4 days off in my estimations and my new due date is now January (Friday) 13, 2012. My sister, who was born on a Friday the 13th (and a full moon) is ecstatic. Interestingly enough, my January 9 estimated due date was on the Full Moon. Funny, huh? So I guess I wasn't THAT late when I was posting on Sundays. Ha! And Friday's are definitely easier for me to post on anyways. We can work with this. I still think his estimation is off. I've been tracking this long enough, I know around when things should have occurred.

But we didn't just get to see Bebe. We got to hear Bebe. It was really small so there was only one small area where our doctor could pick up the heartbeat but it was a nice and steady 150bpm (120-180 is considered normal). I started crying as soon as I heard it too. I know I cry with everything these days, but I have never been more relieved and happy in my life then that second I heard that woosh-woosh-woosh. While everyone around me is convinced I'm having a boy, my mom informed me that she is now positive I am having a girl. Apparently high heart rates are characteristic of girls and anything above 145bpm is considered high. I don't care if baby is a boy or a girl and I am perfectly content to wait until my mid pregnancy ultrasound to find out, but guessing is fun. I have been referring to Bebe as "she" whenever I don't think about being neutral, but I think that is less instinct and more coming from a family of girls and having female cats so I'm used to saying she. Boy or girl - I'll be thrilled! And I'll do whatever old wives tale there is just for fun because I love that shit and then exclaim excitedly whether their arbitrary guesses were right. It's a 50/50 chance either way.

Now, it wouldn't be my pregnancy if something wasn't off and dramatic. We found out why I was bleeding two weeks ago. Or the result of it, really. A subchorionic hematoma. It sounds super scary, I know. My doctor didn't even tell me the official name, he just said "blood clot." It's a pool of blood that surrounds the embryo from when it slightly detached from my uterine lining. Slightly is the big key word here because Bebe is definitely still attached and growing and going strong. My mom called one of the doctor's she works for who is pretty high up and asked him questions about it and apparently it's a very very good sign that Bebe's heartbeat is as strong as it is because apparently when the clot is really threatening and cutting off embryonic growth the heartbeat is the first thing to suffer. My doctor told me to take it super super easy for the next 3-4 weeks and it should dissipate by then. It's only about an inch so it isn't very large either. He also tripled my progesterone so I take it 1x in the morning and 2x at night. I have been released to go to my normal ob/gyn though! Her office was closed today so I'll try Tuesday. I should have frequent ultrasounds to ensure the heartbeat hasn't dropped and the embryo is growing over the next few weeks as well.

I'm doing good with riding my euphoric high right now and not be scared. I know these next three weeks are the most telling for me and I'm going to be really really really good. Because I heard my baby's heartbeat with my ears today, and I'm determined to feel it with my hand in January.