I feel like in the past month Lila has become an entirely different baby. For one thing she is mobile. Last month she was shimmying in her wounded army crawl, but now she is full on ALL OVER THE PLACE. She just doesn't stay still for a second! Now that she's got her independence she's just seemed to blossom. Watch out world, Lila's on the move! She's also started solids this past month and that's a big milestone. No longer is my milk the only thing sustaining her, but at 6:30 pm every night she gets to play around with different tastes and textures (or once a week she gets a new taste and texture). So far she's eaten Sweet Potatoes, Rice Cereal, Apples and Oatmeal Cereal. Next weeks she gets Butternut Squash and the week after is Avocado! My freezer is full of food ice cubes I've pureed! She's gotten earrings and professional photos as well. So much!!
Weight: 16 1/2 lbs Height: IDK Head Size: IDK
Milestones: Pulls up on furniture and legs and walls and any surface she can find, cruises, balances with only 1 hand holding on, sits up on knees and balances on own, crawls on knees, crawls on one knee and one foot, eats 4 type of solid foods one time a day, earrings (not a technical milestone, but I care, lol), she still wakes up once (or twice) at night for a bottle (ugh), she is babbling a LOT more with definite sounds and syllables but none that actually mean anything (I have heard 'mama' and 'baba' and 'dada' but Jason and I both agree that they were random and not with purpose). I fully expect her to be walking in the next month or two :(
My baby turned half a year old at 10:56pm. How did this happen? Wasn't it a minute ago I was holding a newborn and crying that she was safe in my arms? A day ago that I was feeling her kick? A week ago that I saw those two lines? Now she is 6 months old, halfway to a year, and she's becoming her own person with her own personality and I'm trying to keep the world from turning so I can have just one more second of her curled up sleeping in my arms before she decides she's too big for that anymore.
Weight: IDK, we visit the Dr next week when we get home. Height: ^ Head: ^
Milestones: Army crawling at the speed of light or close to it without being hindered by silly things like pillows or walls, pushes self to a sitting position from belly, cut first tooth, gives "kisses" (aka, she opens her mouth wide and face plants onto my face) when I ask for kissies and pucker my lips. She's also pretty steady at sitting up and can stay that way for quite awhile. She still loves to stand and has gotten more persistent with trying to reach things to pull herself up on and can do it very easily if you give her your fingers to hold onto. Grasping objects and pulling them towards her are old hat. She's doing a lot of baby babble but no 'dada' or 'mama' yet (when she is hysterical I sometimes think I hear 'mama' but I refuse to believe that's real), though she says 'I-ya' a lot which might be her name? IDK, she knows her name since she turns when she hears it and we say it all the freaking time so it could be. She's very independent though and doesn't want to be held and cuddled (SAD FACE INSERTED HERE) but just wants to crawl and explore on her own. I'm proud and heartbroken. I'm sure those two feelings will just increase with time.
Yesterday, Father's Day, Lila became a 5 month old. 5 months!! That's almost half a year already. This is madness.
Weight: 14 lbs 8 oz Height: I don't know, no pediatrician visit this month. Head: Same as above
Milestones: Can now sit up unsupported without bracing herself for a several minutes (about 10-15 if she is playing with something). Crawls backwards short distance. Crawls very very short distances forward. Holds feet constantly (especially for diaper changes, she's helpful that way). Separation anxiety (she will sometimes scream when other people who aren't Jason and I talk to her or try to hold her). Recognizes her name. "Kisses" people.
She's done things like bracing feet, standing while holding onto an object, dragging objects towards her, mouthing objects and her own hands, passing objects from hand to hand, etc for a few months now. I am preparing myself for her to start crawling for real this month and it's such a scary possibility.
So about 2 months ago, when this entry had only been partially written for 2 months, I considered not writing it because it was so dastardly late. What was the point? Everything relevant in that entry had changed and become different. I wanted to write blog entries about what were actually happening in our lives but felt like I couldn't since this entry hadn't been completed. Since Lila has been born she's grown tremendously from the little newborn she was when I first set my fingers to the keyboard. She now holds her head up straight, rolls backwards and forwards, can stay standing if clutching a sturdy object. She's seen Disneyworld, been on a long road trip, and been Baptized. So allow me to speed through the entry that I started 4 months ago so I can finally get into the habit of writing about the present instead of the past.
Recovering from having Lila was hard. Most people, myself included, are so focused on the birth and on getting the baby out and on what they will do with the baby once the baby comes that they don't think about what they will do with themselves. Like I said in the last entry, I had had a 2nd degree tear when I gave birth. ANd not just that, it was a jagged tear that wasn't straight and involved a lot... how shall I put this, removing skin and tissue in order for the tear to fit back together. I couldn't walk without assistance, and I couldn't even sit up in bed without being in extreme pain. I had to have help to and from the bathroom every time. The first week Jason had to get up and change Lila in the middle of the night because I wasn't able to get out of our bed without help. One night I started crying hysterically because I felt so helpless that I couldn't even do that simple thing for her. I don't know how I would have managed any of it without my Mom. My mom is the most amazing person ever. The thing with having a baby (and the first baby on both sides of the family) is that the baby is inevitably the center of the universe. Everyone wants to see the baby. Everyone wants to know the baby. And while everyone trips over each other trying to take care of the baby, mommy is kind of out in left field shuffling behind the crowd. That's where my mommy was too. My mommy took care of me so that I could heal up and be a mommy myself. She ran epsom salt and sitz baths for me. She made sure I ate and slept. She forced me to my feet and made me walk up and down the halls of my house so I could heal. I the week she was here with me I was her focus. Which I know couldn't have been easy when she had her first grandbaby right there in the same room. She got her time with Lila on her last day though. I was feeling much better and she got to spend the whole day getting to know my sleepy little princess. I just can't thank her enough for being there for me when I needed her the most, and it was the best example to me (a brand new mother) on what a mother's love and priorities should be: their baby.
But my mom couldn't help me with all my burdens. Breastfeeding was something that she couldn't do for me. Fortunately, Jason's aunt (a Lactation consultant) was able to step in and help instead. Lila was 7 lbs and 2 oz when she was born, but when we left Winnie Palmer she was only 6 lbs 5 oz. She would latch on for a moment and then pull off and cry. I'd go back and forth, putting her on and on and on over and over and over. With a lot of help from Jason's Aunt we were able to get her to latch on and stay. Which was a sigh of relief. My problems were over! Aside from the pain of the initial latch until my first letdown, everything worked. Well, until Lila's next Dr's appt. Apparently Lila wasn't gaining enough weight and they wanted to see us again in a week. So I fed her and fed her and fed her. But when the appt came she still wasn't progressing like she should be. Eventually we decided I'd pump and feed her the expressed milk so we could make sure her weight was going up and then we'd go back to breastfeeding. She would fall asleep while nursing or just not eat, and it was our hope that once she got into the habit of eating she'd do it from me. Except she didn't. She gained weight remarkably quickly once I started pumping and feeding her, but threw fit when I tried to nurse her. So it was suggested that I try a nipple shield and it worked! She latched immediately! Again, my problems were over. She was latching, I could hear her eat, success! Not quite. Because of her weight problems we'd gotten a scale and weighed her every few days. So after switching back to the shield for a week I weighed her... and saw she'd LOST weight. I talked to Jason's Aunt again and we immediately put me back to pumping, hoping that my supply wasn't too damaged. It was definitely lower than it had been when I'd stopped pumping and I had to use some of my freezer stash for a few days but I finally got it back up again. Sigh of relief! After getting it back up we went to trying to slowly add in more nursing and less bottles. But, once again, I noticed a plateau in her weight once we did this. Eventually I started paying attention to the way she ate her bottles. She'd take an ounce and then toss her head and fight me for the next ounce. And then after that she would ease into the third ounce. And fight the last one. She was doing this with me nursing her, I figured out. She'd drink a bit and then fight because (while not full) she wasn't starving anymore and didn't feel like staying still to eat more. The problem was I couldn't fight her with my breast. I couldn't force it on her. She would bite me, scream at me and refuse to latch. But with a bottle I could be patient and stubborn and she eventually ate it - since biting the bottle nipple didn't cause it pain.
So now I am in the extremely high demand lifestyle of the Exclusively Pumping group. I never wanted to be here. I LOVE nursing, and the times when Lila lets me comfort nurse her to sleep for naps is my absolute best time of the day (and I can even comfort nurse her without a shield these days)! Pumping exclusively is hard and demanding. I've made it past the exhausting every 2 hour pump stage and now can pump 4 times a day and get a very good supply, and that was such a relief. I've managed to go 4 months and never had to supplement with formula. To me that's the motivation to keep going with this. I bring my pump to Disneyworld and every 4 hours I duck into a Baby Station and pump. I pump in the car on long road trips. I excuse myself at family gatherings to huddle in a room and pump. We schedule errands and outings around my pumping schedule. I drink 100+ oz of water a day. I wash bottle parts and pumping parts ad nauseum. I am counting down to 6 months when i can finally replace bottles with solid foods. Feeding Lila takes an hour (on a good day). Because not only do I have to fight with her to get her to finish her bottle, after that I have to sit down and pump (between 20-30 minutes, mornings are usually longer). Then I have to wash bottles and pumping equipment. Sometimes I'm hooked up to the pump in the middle of a letdown and she starts screaming in her swing or her bouncer and I just have to let her because I can't stop in the middle. It's tiring and hard and nothing is worse than hearing people say "why don't you just stop and give her formula?" because some days it's SO tempting to do that. But I HAVE the milk. I know so many moms who would do anything to have been able to give their babies breastmilk and couldn't because of supply issues. I am so blessed and so fortunate to have such a wonderful supply and to respond to the pump well. I can't just throw that away when I know other women would give anything to be able to have the opportunity that I do. I also don't work so I have the time to dedicate to pumping the way I do. Most of all, I have the support system. I have Jason who hasn't let me give up and who tells me every day how good of a job I am doing. I have his aunt who has been my cheerleader from the beginning. I have both of our families who give me support as well to keep pushing. Each month is a little easier and a little harder. It's one month closer, one more month of success. Lila will be 4 months tomorrow, and that means only 2 more months until I can start solids and not have her exclusively on milk. And 6 months means I am halfway through the recommended 1 year of breastmilk. I don't want to set 1 year as a goal though. My goal, every day, is to let me make it to the next month. Tomorrow I will have met my goal. Then my new goal will be June 17. Having frequent smaller goals makes it easier since I can see that light, when January 17 just seems so far away. But tomorrow will be another goal met and crossed off. Tomorrow I can feel successful.
Aside from my life revolving around breastmilk (speaking of, I pumped 40 oz this past Saturday which was the most I had ever done. I was so proud of myself that I cried), it's revolved around watching Lila grow. She has blossomed so much from the tiny 6 lb baby I brought home from the hospital. She had her 4 month appt yesterday and was 13 lbs 5 oz! 7 whole pounds in the past 4 months!! Every day she is bigger and stronger, astounding me with her stubbornness and her desire to do things her body just isn't capable of yet. She also sleeps better than I could have ever dared to hope. She takes a minimum of 4 naps a day and by 8:30 pm is ready for bed. If we pass this time she lets us know. Loudly. Then, on average, she sleeps till 6:30am. Some days it's 5am (like today), other days she'll go till around 7. One memorable day was 8! It's remarkable and I only love her more for it, lol!! She does roadtrips like a champion, and both of my sisters have had the pleasure of riding with her (Kirsty came with us up to PA for my Poppop's birthday) and seeing how well she does (sleeping mostly through the trip and the night). I couldn't ask for a more perfect baby. She is all I have ever wanted and I am amazed at how each day I love her so much more than I did the day before.
I know lots more has happened but, uh, it's been 4 months. And if I say I will make my next post a timeline it will never happen and I'd be scared to update until it did. So how about I put up some pictures and we pretend I'm all caught up? DEAL.
Oh this week. Nothing dramatic has happened, but I'm just very exhausted. I went to a class called Parents Night on Wednesday to hear a lecture from a Pediatrician and a Pediatric Dentist about childhood illnesses and teething and all that fun stuff. The Pediatrician drove Jason up the wall since she was talking about how Chinese Herbs do more for your kid than anything and Jason is just... not into that at all. And then she got into the Vaccination debate (which I won't get into here because I really don't want to get into that debate with any of you lovely people) and he was like "Do we have to stay here? We could be playing Skyrim." But then she finished and the Dentist came on and he was awesome so Jason felt a lot better. We learned when we should start bringing the kid to the Dentist, when to start brushing teeth and how, and how to never let your kid go to bed with a bottle. Fun stuff. I was feeling ridiculously nauseous through the whole thing though so it put a damper on my ability to pay attention. Then Friday I had my Dr's appt and will now be going weekly! I had my Group B Strep test done (Jason kept thinking the Dr and I were saying "Groupie Strep test" and was like "Is that an STD or something?"). I'll find out my results on Friday at my 37 week appt but everything else looked great! He says I'm doing awesome! I'm also actually -3 lbs from last week, but considering I'd been +6 last week he didn't think it was a big deal. Weight gain is now +22 lbs. This weekend Jason and I lazed about and played a lot of Skyrim and it was actually a really nice, easygoing weekend. Then on Sunday we ran a bunch of errands and finished our Christmas shopping before my sister came to visit! We were going to go shopping but I was so exhausted from the earlier errands that we just ended up hanging out and working on her list of what to get people. That night I was having terrible Braxton Hick's. Every 6-7 min sitting down, 10-12 min when I got up and walked. Only in my abdomen, not in my back, and not painful just super uncomfortable and annoying. I was also crazy nauseous again and just all around feeling really pregnant and miserable. Even a nice long shower didn't help. Such as my life now I suppose? It's all just twiddling my thumbs and staring at my packed hospital bag as I wait!
This week Bebe is about 6 pounds which makes her the size of Crenshaw Melon. I guess it's just a big melon, because I've never had it before. She's also just over 18 1/2 inches long. She's still thrashing around and beating me up though so clearly she either has plenty of room or she thinks she has more room than she does. I'm going with the latter. She's shed most of her lanugo (the downy hair covering her) and is shedding her vernix caseosa that's been protecting her skin during this months long bath of hers. She's swallowing all of this and it's going to end up in her first meconium diaper that Jason will most likely be honored enough to change. It's mind boggling to think that in a few days (since I'm late on this, like always) I will be 37 weeks and she will be full term and I can feasibly go into labor any day in the next 4 weeks. It's so soon!!!
I will leave you this week with some pictures from the book I ordered! I took our Maternity pictures and made a Mixbook with them. It was super fun and easy to do and I'm so thrilled with the end results.
Edited for those not on my Facebook: Tonight's proof that Bebe has no regard for how much space she takes up
This was a busy busy week!! And, I won't lie, I could have written this Thursday but I have had like no motivation to do anything except sleep lately. Even now I'm staring at the computer screen trying to think of words to type because pregnancy has turned my brain to mush. But there's so much to talk about!! Like my fantastic BABY SHOWER that I had last weekend!!! My sisters hosted (with a lot of help from my fabulous mother) and it was absolutely perfect. It was Nursery Rhyme themed and all the food and decorations (that my sister drew free handed) reflected that. A bunch of family and friends came and it was just a wonderful day. Bebe was SO SPOILED! She seriously got so many amazing things through everyone's generosity and I could be any more grateful. Other important events this week was our 32 week Doctor's visit on Wednesday. Once again Bebe is hitting all those textbook markers that make me and my Dr very happy and I was given the All Clear to go home for Thanksgiving and to Key West for my family vacation! Wednesday was also our Basic Infant Care class and I came home with a pile of notes to page through while Jason tried to stay awake in it. Then on Friday my sister, Kali, came down and we were joined by my other sister, Kirsty, on Saturday. Their purpose? To help me prepare for my Maternity pictures that the weather FINALLY allowed me to have taken yesterday!!! Let me just start by saying that Lindsay (@ You Are The Roots) is amazing, and she's been around to document all of Jason's and my big events (engagement and wedding, now pregnancy!), so this event was no exception. Kirsty helped me pull my look together and came up with some cute ideas, Kali did my hair and make up, and away we went up to the adorable town of Mount Dora to find a little park with a beautiful lake and some gorgeous trees. The entire shoot was super easy going and fun, like it always is with Lindsay, and even though I've only seen one preview from the set I am SO EXCITED since it's gorgeous!!
So busy week leads to an EXHAUSTED Katie. And not just because it's been Go-Go-Go. Friday night I couldn't sleep and only got about 4 hours of it, and then Saturday night the same thing. I ended up falling asleep on the couch at 2am and waking up at quarter to 6am to get ready. Of course as soon as Jason and I got home I ate a bit and then passed out for another 4 hours. It's frustrating because everyone tells you when you're pregnant to sleep when you can, but when you just CAN'T sleep it makes you so angry at all the advise you get to sleep! I'd LOVE to sleep more, because that's pretty much all I want to do. But between my back hurting, my acid reflux, my restless legs, my insomnia, my gigantic stomach, and my need to pee every couple hours? Sleep is just sitting off in the corner laughing at me and telling me that this is practice for when Bebe gets here. Everything just feels like it's in overdrive lately, including my Reflux and aches and pains (back, ribs, hips, etc). But most of all? Pregnancy Brain. I am so overly ADD right now, noticeable by the fact that I started this entry last night. I really hope I don't just decide to flop down on a bed in Key West and sleep my entire vacation away, but oh my goodness does that sound like the best idea ever right now.
Bebe! Bebe is fantastic. I swear she's an octopus and all my ultrasounds missed her 4 other appendages. In the car on the way to my photo shoot I swear she was playing a game and trying to see how many internal organs she could assault at the same time. The answer: all of them. The best news with her is that, according to the Dr, he believes she is now HEAD DOWN! YAY! This is awesome for birth, but now she's taken to using my bladder as a pillow and that is much less exciting. She also gets the hiccups ALL. THE. TIME. And she really really hates them, because after a minute of them she starts flailing about, kicking whatever she can, and doesn't calm down until they stop. Fortunately they don't seem to last long. She's also still growing, somehow, because it doesn't feel like there's much room in there. She's almost 17" at this point, and about 4 lbs - which makes her as big as a large jicama (image included because, lol if I know what a jicama is). She's going to be gaining about 1/3 to 1/2 of her birthweight in the next 7 weeks, and her skin is starting to smooth out those wrinkles as the weight I'm gaining (I'm +19 lbs. total this week) goes towards fattening her up. She now has toenails and fingernails too! And apparently she is now supposed to have real hair but, lol, she's had plenty of hair since well before 29 weeks so I can't even begin to imagine how much hair she'll actually have when she's born. Yeti child.
A couple seconds of hiccups, and Bebe reacting to them
Kirsty's adorable decorations. Jack & Jill going up the hill and all the characters from Hey Diddle Diddle! (There was also a Humpty umpty on a wall with the Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars and a Mother Goose elsewhere on the walls)
Spread of food. "This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef" sandwich platters, "Three Blind Mice" cheese and fruit platter, "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater" pumpkin bread, "Humpty Dumpty" deviled eggs, etc.
The dessert table
The rhyme that inspired the cake!
Kirsty made amazing sheep cake pops as party favors! Mary's Little Lamb and the Baa Baa Black Sheep
