12 wks (4ds)

Hey look, it’s the pregnancy blog reboot! So baby #2 is on the way and we’re ecstatic! I’m going to try and summarize the last three months for you all so we can be caught up on this baby.

Around Lila’s first birthday Jason and I started discussing when we wanted to have another. My doctors had all been consistent in telling me that I shouldn’t wait more than two years between kids or I could run into the same difficulties conceiving that I had before. Our problem was that I had just returned to college to finish the last 3 classes I needed for my degree and wasn’t going to be done until mid-December. In the end we decided that we would begin trying in June. This would give us 6 months of trying naturally so that after I finished school we would be able to jump into fertility treatments immediately if we had problems. Neither of us were really getting our hopes up that this would be easy, especially after striking out twice.

I started my final class (Spanish II) on August 19, the day before my period was due. My first assignment was to have a speech memorized, recorded, and posted for Wednesday. I had a total freak out over it. On Wednesday night I was borderline panic attacking over not being able to memorize it and messing up constantly and poor Jason tried everything he could to get me to calm down. We eventually got the speech recorded and called it a night. The next day I remember telling him that I felt so drained and worn out from it that it was like I’d just been zapped of energy. It was Friday when I realized that I should have gotten my period on Tuesday. Neither of us really thought anything of it. I was stressed out with this class. I was exhausted, broken out worse than a Proactive commercial, and late. So what if those were my exact symptoms with Lila, there was no way the third time was the charm and we weren’t getting our hopes up that it was. I told him that if I didn’t have it by the time I woke up I would take a test.

The next morning – instead of a period – I got two pink lines on my HPT. Jason pumped his fist in the air, we called our parents, and we celebrated at Magic Kingdom.

The next day I had a little bit of bleeding. Nothing heavy and I stayed weirdly, remarkably calm. Kept off my feet, drank water, and thought positively. I wasn’t even 4 weeks yet, so literally there was nothing else to do. There was no more blood after that and I chalked it up to some residual implantation bleeding.

On Monday I went to my Doctor’s office for a blood draw. With Lila my Progesterone wasn’t ideal so I needed to know if I had to take progesterone supplements again. On Wednesday I fount out that my hcG was 848 and my progesterone was 19.6! Perfect! I had one more blood draw and on Friday I got the call that my hcG was multiplying beautifully and was 2,898. I was officially pregnant and could breathe!

For a little while, at least. A couple weeks later on a Thursday night I started having some bad cramping in my back with a few shooting pains. The next morning they really hadn’t gone away. I called my doctor’s office just to see what I should do since the weekend was approaching and they had me come in to make sure it wasn’t an ectopic. Right away we saw the baby – implanted up high with a steady fhr of 150. Cramping was thanks to all that fun iron in my new prenatals. Ugh. Prenatals.

After that everything progressed normally and undramatically. I was exhausted, plagued by headaches which made giving up coffee cold turkey impossible, and spent more than a few day feeling like I was going to hurl without ever actually hurling. My cravings were all over the place. I went from craving fried chicken, cheesy bread and steak to feeling ill every time I took a bite of meat. I went from not wanting anything sweet to almost crying in happiness when Jason surprised me with éclairs.

Perhaps the biggest sign that I was pregnant came in the form of my inability to handle full days at a theme park once I hit 8wks. Several times by 3:00 my body was just done with the day. Everything hurt, everything sucked, and all I wanted was to curl up and sleep for a year. Another Food & Wine festival just out of my reach! At least there were Belgium waffles to drown my sorrows in.

Despite all of this, however, it’s been really hard for me to believe I’m pregnant. I know I am, since I’m already showing and I’ve felt miserable for three months, but it’s not really clicking in my brain that I’m going to be a mom to two. It’s just been difficult to comprehend this time around. It’s a calmer, less dramatic pregnancy and conception, and sometimes I really have to stop and force myself to believe that there’s a small human inside of me. Lila loves to pull up my shirt and point at my belly and yell “Baby!” She even pointed at the ultrasound screen the other day and declared “Baby!” as well. So I think she’s understanding and comprehending as much as her little mind can. I hope. If she can do it I should start believing it soon too.

Friday was our 12wk appointment and the first time we were going to hear the baby with the Doppler. So I thought. I endured the most nerve wracking few minutes as our doctor went over my belly with the Doppler and only found my heartbeat. She was great at telling me to calm down, and managed to hear it very, very briefly (for about a second). But since she’s a total sweetheart and could see I was about to cry told me she would take me to ultrasound so I could see and hear it for myself. We got in there, and baby popped right up on screen. After a bit of maneuvering, the little flicker of its heart appeared and eventually we got the sound. 152 bpm. Apparently I have an anterior placenta. Meaning that instead of implanting towards the back (closer to the spine) and growing in front of the placenta, the baby implanted near the front and is growing behind it. Which the doctor assured me was fine, it just will make it harder to feel movement and find the hb. And, as the ultrasound picture shows, baby wasn’t being cooperative anyways. Its head is turned away from of us and its laying curled up on its stomach. You can see the bottom of its feet and the curve of its spine. This one is not fond of showing off the way Lila was!! It just wanted to sleep and be left alone.

Once we heard the heartbeat and knew for sure the baby was doing well, Jason and I finally decided to go public with our exciting baby news. I had wanted to do a fun birth announcement that was a little creative and different and involved Lila. I thought of the “bun in the oven” idea after seeing the Halloween costume of a pregnant woman as an oven. Lila was a perfect model! She even resisted trying to eat the cinnamon bun until after I finished taking pictures, so I rewarded her with half of it. Writing the date on that bun was way way harder than it ever should have been, but I’m super proud of the whole outcome!

In conclusion: Baby is .49 oz, 2 . 1 inches and is the size of a plum. I’m +2 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight (which!! Was the same as my LAST pre-pregnancy weight! Just in time!) and I’m craving cookies and spinach fruit smoothies. I have no idea if it’s a boy or a girl, but any time someone says they hope it’s a boy or ask if I hope it’s a boy I vindictively want it to be a girl (which probably means it will be a boy). Really though, we’d be ecstatic either way. A boy would be great, but having a sister close in age would be fun for Lila. So either or! We find that out November 30th. I’m 12wks 4days and I’m due on May 6, 2014. Welcome back to my blog!

40 wks (4ds)

I really didn't want to write this post. Really. If that wasn't evident by my avoiding it for 4 days. There's something seriously depressing about going over your due date (and I'm sure most women who have can attest), so on Thursday all I wanted to do was curl up and hormonally cry over the fact that everyone in the world was having a baby except for me. Jason ended up coming home from work early because every time he talked to me I was just sobbing because, oh my god, I am so tired and uncomfortable. But then I talked to my sister and mom and they decided to come up Friday to spend the weekend with me and I definitely cheered up after that. Well, I cheered up till Friday when I had my Dr's appointment, at least. I knew going to my 40wk appointment would just make me upset, because I was warned at my 39wk appt that at the 40wk one we would set an induction date. Joy of joys. And when I had my cervical check and was told that I am still 2cm. and 70% effaced after 4 weeks? Yeah, I'm surprised I didn't break down into hormone fueled tears of frustration. We set an induction date for Friday, January 20 which would put me at 41wks 1d. He's definitely trying to give me time to go on my own, but without letting me go for too long. He even double checked all my ultrasound measurements from 7, 8 and 11 wks to make sure he wasn't shorting me out of time. THen on Tuesday while he's working at Winnie Palmer he wants me to go to Triage so he can check me out and strip my membranes and hopefully send me into labor for Tuesday (since he said he'd really like to deliver my baby himself if we can urge my body to comply). It's good, I know. But there's something about being pregnant for what feels like 2 years at this point (no, seriously, over a year of trying? over 9 months of being pregnant? It's felt like the 2+ year long pregnancy) that makes you go "Just get her out of me now and to hell with whatever pregnancy plan I had."

This all came to a head on Sunday, for me. Friday mom and Kirsty got here and we went to Target (where I got an Exercise Ball and OH DEAR GOD, if you are pregnant and do not have one GET ONE. This is the most amazing thing that has happened to my pregnancy and how did I do over 40 wks without it?!) and out to eat for lunch and then to the movies (Beauty and the Beast in 3D!) and out to dinner again! Then on Saturday we walked and walked and walked that afternoon before going to Babies 'R' Us and the grocery store. Jason made an awesome dinner while I bounced around on my new exercise ball and then all the girls went out for a long walk since I started having those annoying stronger-than-BH-contractions-but-it's-not-labor-contractions and we wanted to encourage them. At home Jason made us pineapple smoothies and I sat on my ball more and the contractions definitely got worse to the point where I had to breathe through them (but I refused to time them because I was still convinced they weren't real). After a shower and letting my mom rub my back I went to bed around 10 because I was just exhausted. The contractions woke me up off and one while I was sleeping and finally around 12:50am I started timing them. At 3am Jason and I were both up and they were between 3-5 min apart, lasting for around a minute each, and they definitely hurt because I stopped talking and would just have to put my head down and breathe. but it didn't feel like it hurt ENOUGH for them to count (even though they persisted whether I was sitting, standing, walking, laying down, eating, drinking or showering). So we woke up my mom who hung out with us for a couple hours to monitor me and - sure enough - they began to start wavering in intensity, length and time between. So i went to bed again at 5am and they totally stopped. I woke up on Sunday and was SO FRUSTRATED that I could do nothing but cry. Again. Guys I swear this past week has been nothing but me crying over "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? D:" But Jason made pancakes and my mom and sister were encouraging.

However, at around noon I realized that I hadn't felt my normally very active baby move in about 8 hours. Not after pancakes, not after a small cup of coffee, nothing. So my mom encouraged Jason and I to go over to Winnie just to check her out and maybe I'd get some answers as to why I'm having Labor Fools Day jokes played on me. The triage at Winnie was super nice and helpful and we found Bebe's heartrate to be strong and ranging from high 130s to low 150s. And then the nurse checked my cervix and found... nothing. 2 cm. and 70% effaced. Baby had actually moved UP from a -1 station to a -3 station. But when she brought in the portable ultrasound machine to ensure baby's head was down she saw that it wasn't in the right position, meaning it wasn't over my cervix so no wonder my cervix is doing shit. After that the Dr on call ordered a BPP (Bio-Physical Profile) to assess the baby's condition in the womb and make sure she has enough fluid and isn't in distress and try to make her move. THe tech got 3 movements after prodding her and she passed with an 8 out of 8 - meaning she's doing just peachy, thankfully. Her whole body is curled along my right side with her feet on my left which is why she's still jabbing me with her feet (when she isn't terrifying me by not moving). Because there was no cause for concern they sent us home. Which, at that point, was kind of bittersweet. Yes, it's much better to not have to be induced, but after that 12-5am stint the night before I was so discouraged and so tired and so frustrated that I half wanted to sterilize a crochet needle and break my water myself just to finally get this over with. Based on the info we got from the hospital, my mom and Kirsty left that night and will return when I eventually have the baby. If it doesn't happen Tuesday after my appt, it will be Friday. And it's nice just to have an End Date, because it reminds me that I won't be pregnant forever, even though I feel like it. (NOTE: the u/s pic is her looking at you. It's so weird and alien, I know).

Today I am feeling better. Mostly because I have discovered the term "Prodromal Labor" and feel like I'm not crazy, finally. Because what I've been experiencing intermittently since 37wks isn't Braxton Hicks. I have had BH contractions I could feel since my 2nd trimester, and I have them constantly in between these Prodromal Labor episodes. These contractions are painful, they are regular, and they do not stop when I change activity or eat and drink. These contractions last for hours and then... stop. And these contractions make me feel like I am slowly losing my mind. THIS blog states that: "I've got a feeling that more often than not, its caused by the baby's position. It's like the body needs to use those contractions to align the baby's head just right. A positioning tool!" which, after hearing that her head isn't in the ideal spot, has made a lot of sense for me and doesn't make me want to call the entire experience "fake" because even though it's done shit to help my cervix, maybe it's actually helping something. Then I found THIS blog with lots of stories from moms who have dealt with Prodromal Labor like mine, where it goes on for WEEKS and HOURS at a time. It's done a lot to help me feel not so completely discouraged. Because Prodromal Labor is apparently notorious for not just being physically exhausting (you're up for hours timing contractions that just STOP) but for being mentally and emotionally draining as well. It's disheartening and discouraging and makes you feel like something is wrong with you because why won't your body push this into Active Labor? So today is a much better day. There's a name for what I'm going through, so I'm not alone. And Tuesday may give me some more answers. And, if not? By Friday night, come hell or high water, I WILL be holding my baby.

And, for the record, yes. I have tried what got me into this, walking, pineapple, spicy food, raspberry leaf tea, etc, etc, ad nauseum. I am not doing castor oil because the risk of an in uterine bowel movement terrifies me (and everyone I know who has done it has still not had success), and I have not done Evening Primrose Oil because it just weirds me out, I've used enough vaginal suppositories this pregnancy. I have lost my Mucus Plug and had the "bloody show" but that was a week ago so I am sure it has grown back by now. I've also had other, much grosser, symptoms I won't elaborate on but apparently it's a sign of labor. Though that is usually accompanied by a Prodromal Labor session so now it does not excite me anymore. Trust me. I have looked up every way to induce labor short of accupuncture. My mom and sister were even doing the pressure point massages this weekend, lol! Basically, whatever kept her hanging on at 5wks is keeping her hanging on now, so I can't blame her too much.

And how is our little procrastinator doing this week? According to the BPP, very well! I forgot to ask the tech how big she looked, but according to my Dr's rough estimate he guesses between 7.5 to 8 lbs. God only knows how big she'll be on Friday. My poor lady parts. Anyways, this is about the size of a small pumpkin. Yes. A pumpkin. BabyCenter has run out of information to give me about development since she's pretty much all developed in there. Her skull plates aren't fused together so they can overlap and fit through the birth canal. I'll be able to call her "my little conehead" or something. I'm sure she'll love the nickname.

39 wks (1d)

So I'm 39 weeks. Still pregnant. I was really hoping that I'd have her today, since it's my Grandma's (her Great-Grandma) birthday today and it would have been really really special for them to share that. But alas! I don't think that's going to happen unless labor starts like, right now. I had my 39wk Dr's appt yesterday and it went alright. I lost 2 lbs from the Christmas gain and am now +26 lbs., which is excellent. Measuring 37cm., FHR is in the 130's. But I haven't made any cervical progress since 2 weeks ago. About 50% effaced (not 60), she's now in a -2 station instead of a -1. The only upward movement was that the Dr was able to manually move me from 1cm to 2cm (and in the process my mom is relatively sure she stripped my membranes). But I still feel like all these contractions and all this effort I've been doing this past week (if there's a way to try and induce labor I've tried it - excluding EPO and Castor Oil) have been for naught because just NOTHING. UGH. It's so frustrating. Last night I was having slightly stronger contractions from the rest of the week (save Friday) but very irregular. So I had about 3 mugs of Raspberry Leaf tea and walked the block twice with my wonderful Mother-in-Law who braved the cold with me. I was super crampy around 11-midnight (likely from my cervical check/membrane strip) and at 2:30am I started having a constant pressure in my pelvic area that felt like I was about to get my period. Not painful, just uncomfortable. This morning I'm having some contractions about 7-9 min apart, but I don't think they're super powerful. They make me stop and catch my breath, yeah, but nothing that makes me want to cry.

It's been a weird week, because most of this week I was actually hoping Bebe WOULDN'T come. Jason came down with the ear infection from HELL. The whole thing is swollen up and it's really affecting the nerve in his ear which causes a pain like someone twisting a knife in his ear. He saw an urgent care specialist who gave him antibiotics, drops and pain meds but after 2 days they weren't helping and he was feeling worse so his mom came up to help us out. Basically, he needed to be on those meds and if I went into labor? We'd be a little screwed, lol! So she drove us to all our Dr's appts yesterday, starting with Jason's ENT appt. The ENT Dr gave Jason stronger antibiotics, vicodin, and better ear drops (since the other drops actually made his ear swell MORE) and I can DEFINITELY tell there's a difference in him with the new meds. Today he has an appt with a new Dr he's trying out for a regular Dr and will hopefully get his TDAP vaccine! Also hopefully he keeps continuing to feel better because I really really want this baby out and I want him to not be in pain as well during it. Oh, and also because I love him and hate when he's hurting.

As for Bebe! She's 39 wks too. She's about 20 inches and weighs a little over 7 lbs (about the size of a mini-watermelon. OH JOY). She's still building up fat, and her brain is developing so at this rate she's going to be a genius. Her outer skin is starting to slough off to make room for new skin, and she's swallowing all of that stuff too. Hope you enjoy changing that diaper, Jason!

38 wks (2ds)

So I'm trying to make this some semblance of not laughably late, since last night I was having contractions that got to about 6 minutes apart. And then I decided to go to bed and rest and woke up this morning to only the random intermittent contraction. That was annoying. Sleep really does ruin everything! Anyways, I'll take my unfortunate lack of labor as my cue to update my blog and FINALLY post my nursery reveal pictures. Aren't you all lucky? Thursday, the day I turned 38 weeks and this blog was due, Jason and I decided to walk me around Epcot to help convince Bebe to keep on swimming and follow the light. I did make a whole World Showcase loop, because I'm fantastic. Jason wouldn't let me buy Pumpkin Spice Funnel Cake though and for SOME reason China doesn't sell Spring Rolls (which I love) only Egg Rolls (which I do not love) so my only real excitement at this entire endeavor was that I got to eat a ham & cheese croissant from France. Which was amazing. That night Jason had promised to make me funnel cake but he wussed out (okay, really, I told him he didn't have to because he looked tired. He just should have let me get the funnel cake in America). So instead I decided to experiment with Jump Start Your Labor Cookies. Oh. My. God. Are they the spiciest devil cookies I have ever eaten in my life. Jason had one and claimed he could breathe fire. I ate 9 with 3 glasses of milk. I don't even LIKE drinking milk! But, interestingly enough, I started having some mild contractions when I went to bed that night. About every 10-15 min. THen when I woke up they were around every 8-9 min. We went to the Dr but no cervical check this week, he did however feel me having a contraction when he did my belly check and laughed and said he'd be surprised if I made it to next weeks appointment. After the Dr's Jason and I went to the mall and walked a bit and I found a take home outfit (FINALLY) and another batch of hangers and a mirror for Bebe's nursery. I was miserable by the time we got home and at 7 min apart. Jason and I finished Bebe's nursery (pics to follow, I swear), I did a load of laundry, ate, and then had a couple more cookies before taking a nap. I woke up to contractions 6 min apart! That's when we got super excited. But then they fell to 9 for a bit before coming back up to 6. I had a headache at this point so I went to bed and woke up to... no contractions. Okay, intermittent ones. But I haven't had one in awhile now. Maybe I should eat more cookies. Likely after Jason and I take the scenic walking tour through every neighborhood in our development.

Bebe is 38 weeks now, she's plumped up to about 6.8 lbs. and is around 19.5 inches long (imagine a leek). She's apparently putting on a lot of weigh, but not as much as Mommy who put on 6 lbs. this week. Thanks Christmas. You're a bitch. I'm at +28 lbs though which is still in a good range so all my Dr did was laugh at me. According to development websites, Bebe now has a firm grasp, which I was HOPING to feel today but she's being difficult. She needs to listen to her parents.

But, as promised, Nursery reveal! We're still getting a fan, but it isn't a "must have before she's here" item. Or, I have convinced myself it is not because Jason will need his dad's help to install it and that wouldn't happen until after she's here anyways.

The painting process and prep work. Jason worked so hard!:

The final, decorated, finished product. The shelf and curtain rod Jason refurbished and painted for her:

Her bathroom. I did not need any Jason assistance to put this together:

37 wks (6ds)

Ha ha ha, it was the holidays, like anyone really expected me to be any earlier than this. Right, so, how fast can I spit this out? Wednesday I had my final pregnancy class, Planning a Positive Birth, and it was my favorite of the whole series. The instructor was excellent and really gave me some things to think about. I don't really want to talk about my birth plan here, though most people know what I want, in the event that things don't go to plan which there's always a high chance of. Suffice it to say this class was on my wavelength and I was happy. On Friday I had my Dr's appt and it went really well!! I learned I am NEGATIVE for Group(ie) B Strep, yay! Also I am 1 cm. dilated and 60% effaced. We saw a different Dr since our was out of the office and the first thing she said when she started my check was "I can feel her head right here, she's pressing right into your bladder. You must have to pee all the time." And truer words were never spoken. That same day Jason's parents and sister came up to help us get ready to celebrate Christmas! We hadn't seen Amanda since this summer so it was really nice to be able to spend some time with her (and she made me a beautiful photo collection of my sonogram pictures and some maternity pics that I hung in my bedroom)! We had dinner, I got my nails done, and we grocery shopped. The next day we went on a hunt for round, red candles to complete my place settings. Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Pier 1 and Yankee were all a bust. Thank the Lord for Michael's! We had a nice Christmas Eve, with some roasted AND smoked chicken and a baked macaroni & cheese and a salad before opening a few gifts and diving into preparing some food for the next day.

Because it was Christmas! This was the first holiday Jason and I have ever hosted in our house so we really wanted it to be nice and we could not have done it without SO MUCH help from Jason's parents and sister. I was so exhausted from an inability to sleep and they really jumped in and helped with the cooking and cleaning and ironing and omg everything. We had a really nice morning opening gifts before the rush to finish things before my family arrived. And arrived they did! We had a total party of 13 at our house and it was so much fun!! Everything went smoothly too until Jason was making the gravy and it happened to explode in his face and over the entire kitchen. He's okay, no worries. His dad and Garrett jumped in to take care of the mess and the food and I began wrapping up his burns in ice water dipped wash cloths until my mom and his mom came in to help and assess the damage. My sister picked up some burn treatment things at the pharmacy and we soon had Jason wrapped up and ready to continue! He's fine now, face is great and arms are only a little red and splotchy. And the food was unharmed in the process!! We had roasted tomato and garlic soup, salad, green beans, squash casserole, mashed potatoes, a country herb stuffing, cranberry chutney, and a giant prime rib roast. I was stuffed!! Then we had presents and we are so blessed from our amazing families. It was really unbelievable. If I start listing everything I'll never stop! Afterwards my sisters Kali and Lilly stayed over along with Kali's boyfriend since the lucky ducks were going to NYC for the week the next day and we were taking them to the airport. We stayed up late with everyone playing XBox games until I went to bed and had the best Christmas ever: straight sleep from 11:30pm-8:30pm. I didn't even wake up to pee! That's how I know it was a Christmas miracle!

The next day everyone left and Jason and I ran errands. He's spent the past couple days painting the curtain rod and refurbishing a shelf to pain for Bebe's room so I can finally show pictures of it! We're so close!! I've been feeling insanely pregnant lately. As I said up there, I'd been extremely sleep deprived before Christmas. Either I'd go to sleep for two hours and wake up to pee and be wide awake for the next 4 hours. Or I'd wake up every hour on the hour for the entirety of my sleep duration. Or I just wouldn't be able to sleep at all. Christmas was such a relief, you can imagine. Other than sleep I've had the typical complaints. I'm uncomfortable, my back hurts, I get random and inconsistent contractions that are very uncomfortable, I feel insanely heavy whenever I move and the lightning pain is sometimes terrible. Not to mention I pee like every hour. Though I did lose another pound somehow. I SWEAR I'm eating. At 37 wks I am now +22 lbs and the Dr did not say it was bad so I say it is good. But all in all I'm so ready to be done!!

But Bebe still has a few more weeks. At 37 she is now full term, THANK GOODNESS, so she COULD be born. But she hasn't yet. She's about 6 and 1/3 of a pound and about 19 inches (about as long as a stalk of swiss chard - which funnily enough we used in our stuffing for Christmas!). She's pretty much just hanging out, getting rounder and healthier, and assaulting every organ she can possibly sink a limb into. One night she moved non stop from 11pm until 5am. She's going to be a little handful, I can tell already!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: If you want a Birth Announcement SEND ME YOUR MAILING ADDRESS. Text it, e-mail it, I don't care how you get it to me. If you don't send it to me you might not get one!

All the presents under our tree!

Gathering in the kitchen

Me setting the table(s)

Mommy (Bebe's Besta) and me!

My present from Amanda!